Today was the day…the day that I had dreaded since first starting to think about going to Camp Gladiator. All of my fears and emotions were realized…and yes, I even cried:( If you don’t want to hear some transparency…then this is probably not the post for you…come back another day:) I showed up for CG this morning and pretty much all of my “buddies” were not there, I had prayed on the way to camp that I would be in a group that was understanding and that it would be a good workout. (I wonder if there will ever be a day that I show up not nervous about what is coming) Anyway, we did the “warm up” with jogging and lots of strange exercises and even though I was much slower than other people, I did okay.
Then came the hard part…we were split in group of 5 (not by how fit we were…just random). We had to bear crawl on the mats until we reached the cones on the other side and then back..and the rest of the team moved the mats so that we wouldn’t have to walk on the pavement. The other team that we were competing against had to do sand bag slams, jump rope and lunges while we were gone and whichever team did the most sandbag slams won. To make it even more “fun”, the losing team had to do 10 of whatever exercise the winning team told them to do. Sounds easy enough, right? NO! I tried to remain positive, but my insecurities were getting a little crazy. Our team was doing pretty good, but some of us (mainly me) were slow and we lost like twice…because we were also against 5 girls that looked as if they had been in CG for like 5 years…and they were SO FAST! It was about that time that I could feel my emotions high…and I just lost it…and cried at CG!! How embarrassing…thankfully Jessie came and tried to encourage me and give another option (walking lunges) to help us finish up the exercise.
I don’t know why, but it just brought all those fears of holding a team back because I can’t do the exercise well or fast enough, feeling out of place among all those super fit people, thinking that others are watching me and thinking I look ridiculous and most of all our team losing and feeling like a loser. All lies…and not truth…but something that I have to process through and change my thought process. I left the workout after being so kind as to tell the trainer Kevin that I hated CG today. He kindly replied, I know you did, but just keep coming. Ha…funny thing is that my hubby Kevin and I decided to make the commitment to becoming BOLD and join CG for 12 months (at least). Its probably good that I did that before I left for camp this morning…because the old me might have found a way to quit after today…but 2016 is our year of change and I will press on! I just pray that tomorrow is a better day and maybe not quite as emotional when I see Allyson:)
To make it a little easier to feel encouraged, is that I got home and saw that our trainers had announced to the CG world that Kevin and I had become Bold members and joined the CG family. It was really sweet and the encouragement from old and new friends was sweet and helps to keep on going!Share: Follow: